Tell the story "Men are abused": When the downfall, "skip" sowing for social crimes

"Come here to see the trigger".

"Oh my golden like her pearl."

...

In Vietnam, the work of aunt, aunt, uncle, uncle, grandfather ... calmly touching the sensitive area of ​​boys in the family has existed for a long time, so long that many people still believe this is this isThe action shows intimate interest.

And obviously, when children are not fully developed physically and awareness, they are hard to distinguish where they are limited to their pet and sexual harassment.

According toRape, Abuse & Incest National Network(The national network against rape, abuse & largest incest in the United States -Rainn) Sexual harassment may occur with anyone, regardless of age or gender.

And there is a truth that is rarely emphasized by the press:Men are also sexually abused, that rate is about 20%.

In fact, this ratio is probably not accurate, we do not consider how to teach about gender standards, that boys do not have a lot of words, which will affect this figure.

Men and boys are attacked or sexually abused also have emotions and reacts similar to women victims.However, besides shocks, physical and mental injuries - men also suffer from pressure from social attitudes and prejudices about masculinity.

Here are the stories of 3 men who have been harassed and abused in many different ways.But in the same form, that isIgnore and try to forget.

#Pool

With the look of the boy's school, Cuong took a sip of coffee and talked about the wishes of the social press: Having a normal life with his wife and a small son, not thinking about money, timeart.

Before choosing to focus on those important things, he experienced many things, as he said was "weird in life".

"At 4 - 5 years old, he was also touched by a sensitive place, but still remembered now. Back then he felt normal, because it was also normal for adults in the house.Touching is tickled ".

"Going to grade 3, he witnessed his classmate who had an old uncle, pulled his neck to kiss. It was a real kiss, not a smell of cheeks.

But that was not the most bizarre time, until he was over twenty, in a dressing chamber at the Hai Ba Trung pool.

"He went to swim like every time, the dressing room for men was all over but often no one looked at anyone.Before he walked along the pool, there was a middle -aged man looking polite but looking at him with very strange eyes ",Cuong said.

And while Cuong shook in the bathroom, the strange man suddenly approached from behind, reaching out to touch the sensitive spot that made Cuong startled.

"Back then he accepted gender diversity, but did not accept such impolite."Realizing the protest, the man suddenly realized that Cuong was not his world.

Cuong could go crazy, then broke out the middle of the dressing room?The answer is no.He left and swore until he died, stop going to the tank anymore.

"I feel disgusting, annoyed and uncomfortable, in short, I don't know what the name of the emotion is.A few years later, reading more, understanding more about sexual abuse, he realized what he had experienced was that. "

In fact, what happened in the pool does not have too big consequences with Cuong, the most dangerous thing is that many people tend to normalize abuse from the smallest behavior.Once I missed, there will be a second time to ignore, and then, the ignorance will always become a strange normal normal.

Now that I am a child, how do you teach this when you grow up?

No one has the right to infringe on, the body of others - this is the first thing he taught.And adults must know how to keep the distance in front of children, and so do he and his wife.

How will Cuong 32 face if he falls into the situation again?Now he is alert and pay more attention to the eyes of everyone.And recurring, will definitely react more violently, more definitive.

#Car Do

Mr. Vu, about 30 years old, Hai Phong original banker, is the second man frankly shared with us about the problem of abuse in men.

In the bank uniform, Vu slowly slowly in his 7th grade.

"I don't remember the day anymore, but it was one afternoon in July. Too bored, dropped out of school to the park to sit and play, where a red wave sitting, waving.At first, he thought people asked the road, so he could see what he had, he did not open his mouth, the other man said first: for mesuckThat mine, please give money ".

In that moment, the 12 - 13 -year -old boy was still drowsy and scared of goosebumps, saying "no" and turned away.

With a normal appearance, even polite, the man with a discomfort on the red motorbike followed Vu continued to plead.Not only that, he also reached down to grab his crotch.

Vũ ù fell, running a circuit without any breath to the school gate, until the red wave car was hidden.

"At that time, he was temporarily panicked, very uncomfortable but besides running away, he did not know what to do or tell who. He used to think that these things only happened to women, did not expect to come tome".

That proposal made Vu obsessed for many years, even made him think false and silently discriminating for homosexuals.

"He kept prejudice and dodged homosexuals for fear that happened to him. When he had friends and colleagues, he was gay, and frankly shared that he knew he was wrong."

"I'm lucky that everything is not too far and timely understands everything, but not everyone in the same situation has the opportunity to understand correctly."

#Nghe people

Tu, Designer, more than 27 years old, is the third and youngest boy who is open to being abused, leading to misleading thoughts when he was young.

Born in the mountainous region of Bac Kan, around 1998 - 1999, Tu was often sent to his neighbor's house whenever his mother went to the city to teach and take the exam.

There are 2 older sisters who are eating older, in 9th grade and 12th grade. In the late 90s, on that area, the house was sparse, everything was inadequate, so Tu 5 years old had 2 sisters playing and felt very happy.

Adults are busy, Tu is eating together, playing together and sometimes sleeping with older sisters "is considered normal".Even, Tu's mother also feels secure because sometimes she is away from home to look after children.

"There was one afternoon, when I was sleeping in my neighbor's house, my big sister (grade 12) suddenly held my hand into my chest.".

"At that time, I really did not think at all, but I was curious, but I said that.No protest, just obediently listening ".

Tu said that happened continuously for a few months: Whenever there were no adults at home, the second sister forced him to do so in the house with a blue paint door.

Too small, Tu was not aware that he was abused, even expressed interest and normalization of it because he pleased his sister was close to her.

And because of the aforementioned actions were normal in the place where he lived, Tu admitted to having touched the girls in kindergarten.

The culmination of the time Tu was stuck in his pants, he ran home right away because he felt very wrong.

"That day I had a physiological reaction, trembling limbs but didn't like it because I didn't understand what happened to me."

Like the two characters mentioned above, Tu also kept everything, did not dare to tell his mother or anyone for fear of shame, fear of being cursed.It was not until growing up and fully aware that he understood himself used and became abused.

Temporary

According toSciencedirect,Even in the most developed countries, phrasesMale Sexual Assault(MSA) is still misunderstood as a man who sexually assaulted women.Meanwhile, MSA to refer to the opposite:Men are sexually attacked by others.

This phenomenon is considered not to exist because social prejudices believe that men are strong and very good control of their bodies.However, the truth is that all men can become victims of acts of abuse, sexual attack regardless of age, skin color, appearance or sexual trend.

On May 27, 2020, the People's Security Telo a report of the National Assembly's Supervision Delegation on the implementation of policies and laws on child abuse prevention and control was submitted by the Chairman of the Judicial Committee Le Thi Nga.Show: In the first 6 months of 2019, the number of children invaded increased sharply, with 1,400 children,On average, every day in the country, 7 children are abused.

In particular, from January 2015 to June 2019, the whole country discovered, handled criminal and administrative handling: 8,442 cases of child abuse with 8,709 children were abused (1,672 men, 7,037young women).Thus, 1 5 children with 1 male.

In the middle of June 2020, the public opinion is extremely indignant in front of the old man who has lewd acts, using stone legs to the sensitive part of the boy in FLC Garden City elevator (Bac Tu Liem District, Hanoi).

The incident happened that made the baby panic and scared, did not dare to tell the family.Until the next morning, while taking her child to school, the baby dared to share the story with her mother.After extracting the security camera of the elevator, parents discovered the incident.

That incident has not passed, the public continues to be shocked by the information of the prostitute a series of male students in Phu Tho.

Specifically, from November 2016 to December 2018, the perpetrator Dinh Bang My used to be the former principal of Thanh Son Secondary School Ethnic Minority School has repeatedly performed lewd acts, sex with 9male student.

The offense takes place many times, for many people and are the people who are responsible for education.In a few years, the victims had suffered a lot of humiliation and frustration that struggled to know how to call for help.As a result, defendant Dinh Bang My had to receive 8 years in prison and compensate for money for the victims.

After the incident, Deputy Principal of Thanh Son Secondary School Ethnic Minority School said:"The school is very surprised because the former principal is a professional, standard manner, good observance of the school ..."

There are many such cases but almost, when it is brought out the light is often too late.Obviously, the victim is abused, sexually harassed is not only a girl or a woman, but from the boy to the strong young men.

Not only women and men also need to be protected, need to be voiced before the sick acts, contrary to human moral standards.

The character's name in the article has been changed*